Ocean's 3
by mybrowneyes
Summary: Stephanie and Lula are having men trouble. So with Grandma along for the ride, they book themselves into a Single's Resort to find men. *** Sorry, I uploaded Part 4 before 3. Part 3 has been added. ****
1. Chapter 1

Just borrowing from Janet E.

**__**

Ocean's 3

Week 32 Challenge

"Skinny White Girl, I don't know what is going on! I think Batman is doing something to my Tankie!"

"What do you mean, Lula?" Stephanie asked from the passenger seat of her Firebird.

"Tank was around a whole lot. I think that Batman is giving him cold feet because I've hardly seen him and he has broken off two evenings at the last minute. That's not like him. He likes his Lula lovin'."

"I didn't hear about any important rush jobs around Rangeman."

"Well that 'I look so hot in black' Ranger who wants you when he wants is playing with my man's mind, I know it! I'm fighting back. Two can play that game and you're coming with me."

Stephanie looked at her dumbfounded. She was right about Ranger. He has been scarce since she and Joe called it quits in a big blow-up in Pino's. They were going away to Niagara Falls and he just happened to have his mother's wedding dress in a box. Stephanie threw it out just as the Merry Men were pulling in and ran over the dress. She had pizza with them and got a ride home.

Sightings of Ranger since have been few except for a couple of kisses in the alley.

Lula handed her a brochure for the Ocean Wave Hotel in Ocean Grove.

"I got us booked there. It caters to singles. A friend, who is an ex-ho, is a manager. She was working to put herself through hotel management school."

She was looking at picture of a massive Victorian hotel right on the Atlantic Ocean with a white beach. "It looks nice but is it expensive?"

"Carina gave us a big discount since we worked together in the past," Lula told her as she pulled up to the Cut n' Curl to pick up Grandma Mazur. "They have activities you can sign up for to meet other single people like dancing, cooking, painting, and Yoga or volleyball on the beach. Let Tank and Batman just wonder what we're doing and with who."

Grandma got in and saw the pamphlet, "Where you going?"

"Me and White Girl are going to meet some single guys. My friend says a lot of guys from New York come down to meet real Jersey girls."

Grandma nodded, "I'm in. I just want to get me some."

Stephanie shrugged, "OK, there's not much going on around here."

"We need some beachy shopping," Lula told them excitedly as she headed towards the mall, "at Vicky's."

"Hot damn! Sexy undies. I may go crotchless for more action. Also, I need a new hot string bikini! Is this place clothing optional?"

Stephanie groaned inwardly and knew a lecture would be coming from her mother. Maybe if she was lucky by 2015 she would taste her mother's pineapple upside down cake again.

"Got for it, Granny!" Lula cheered.

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Tank and Ranger walked into Vinnie's. Connie was painting her nails. Never looking up, she slid files across her desk. Both men looked around the empty office.

Ranger asked, "Where's Stephanie?"

Connie replied concentrating on her fire engine red nails, "Not here."

"What about Lula?" the massive man of a Tank took his turn.

"Not here," Connie said again and didn't offer any more information.

Tank picked up the files before he and Ranger walked back out the door.

Opening his cell phone, Tank hit his automatic dial. Lula's rang three times and went to voicemail. "Hi, leave a message. I'm not here and maybe I'll call you back if I ain't too busy."

He just closed his phone. "That's not like my Sweetie."

Ranger dialed Stephanie's. It rang. "Hello," a male voice sounding a lot like Lester answered.

"Santos? What are you doing with Stephanie?" he growled.

"I'm not. Her cell phone was ringing in her desk drawer at Rangeman."

"Did she say she was going anywhere?"

"Nope, just did her searches yesterday and left."

Ranger disconnected and dialed the control room, "What's the location of Stephanie?"

"Rangeman and her apartment. Her CRV is there," came Cal's answer.

He closed his cell phone, "Damn her. Let's go to her apartment."

Her used CRV was in the lot. Checking her apartment, Ranger found no Rex in his usual spot. Her bed was made. Some clothes were on the floor. He found a crumpled receipt on floor from Victoria's Secret. Stephanie had purchased a new bathing suit, 3 bra and pantie sets, and lingerie. His black cargos grew a little tighter.

"It looks like her and Lula went away and didn't tell us," Tank looked concerned.

"I shouldn't have broken those dates. You and your 'Tank, before you know it, Lula's going to be running your life. I listened to the man who has no concept of a relationship! I hope Stephanie meets someone else where ever they are!"

Tank headed out of the apartment muttering 'how could he be so stupid to listen to a relationship reject and Ranger was sitting on his brain."

Ranger started his truck, "Tank, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Bull Shit! You didn't want me to have Lula because you can't get your head out of your ass about Stephanie! You love her! Take me to Vinnie's. Connie knows where they are and I'm finding my girl! You should enroll in relationship school!"

Seeing the black truck pull in out front, Connie quickly snuck into the bathroom. She didn't want to be interrogated. Let Vinnie spill the beans.

The two men in black walked directly into Vinnie's office.

"Where are they?" Ranger's voice was as demanding as intimidating as his stance, arms folded over his painted-on black t-shirt, feet planted firmly on the floor.

Tank was towering over a smirking Vinnie.

"Wow! My cousin and her sidekick take off for a few days without telling you and you got your panties in an uproar," chuckling as he knew and they didn't.

Ranger asked again, "Where are they?"

"It's good," Vinnie was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. "They went searching for men at a singles resort in Ocean Grove. I guess you two couldn't cut it."

Tank glared at Ranger, "You!" and stalked out.

Turning towards Haywood, Tank ranted, "I'm going to get my Lula. Don't talk to me about relationships anymore. I hope Stephanie meets someone who treats her right because you don't deserve her."

"That's my Babe."


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Ocean's 3

Part 2

Lula, Stephanie, and Grandma were unpacking in there ocean front suite with a balcony. There were two king size beds with a small sitting area. The bathroom was large. Stephanie's apartment could almost fit in it. The tiled floor looked like white marble, soft mauve walls, and white fluffy towels. A large corner shower and jetted bath tub.

"Wow! I may never go home," Stephanie thought about soaking in it with vanilla bubbles.

The furniture was white with mauve carpeting. The bed had soft pale colored comforters with seashells on it. It was a perfect ocean getaway.

"Lula, are you sure we can afford this? It looks expensive," Stephanie questioned for the third time.

"White girl," Lula was standing in her hot pink spandex bikini exasperated, "I told you, it's taken care of. Carina gave us an 'ex-ho' discount. Quit worrying. Let's go down to the beach before our cocktails. I can't wait to see my activity schedule."

"OK. I'm just going to have fun," adjusting her leopard print bikini Lula talked her into.

"Damn, Stephanie," Lula grinning, "you wait until all these single men see you. Your activity card is going to be full."

"Do you think Ranger and Tank are really going to show up here? It's a singles resort to mingle and hook-up with other singles."

"They'll show up. They're nosy men who got to know what's going on. Besides, we left without them knowing."

Stephanie started to giggle, "Ranger mingling with his one word answers."

The bathroom door opened, Grandma stepped out in lemon yellow bikini with vertical black stripes. "I'm ready. I think this does make me look taller." She flopped on her black wide brimmed straw hat over her grey curls and grabbed her jewel encrusted white sunglasses. Her chicken legs were powder white ending with flip flops topped with big yellow daisies on them.

"I told you, Granny. Lula knows fashion."

Stephanie just rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses.

In the lobby, they found their individual schedules on the activity table.

"What the! I'm enrolled in Talk 101, Cooking for Couples, Water Sports, and Painting," Stephanie was reading her activity schedule for the next few days. "I burn everything. I hope the fire insurance is paid."

"Let me see what I got, White Girl. Talk101, Cooking for Couples, and  
Pottery, and Archery. What do I look like Robin Hood?"

"What did you get Grandma?"

"Talk 101, Erogenous Zones, Ballroom Dance, and Pirates Ahoy. I hope a pirate plunders with me!"

Lula was reading Edna's over her shoulder, "You got a good one. Want to trade."

Sticking her schedule in her bikini top between her sagging breasts, "Nope."

Heading out the back lobby doors, Stephanie, Lula, and Grandma stepped onto the patio. It was crowded with men and women in all ages and sizes. All eyes turned to them; maybe it was the combination of Grandma and Lula's swimsuits.

"I just know it. We're going to get some lovin' while we're here. I may just forget about Tank," Lula was eying up the males scattered on the beach and patio.

Grandma peered over her big sunglasses, "Who?"

"You know what are his name and his friend, the bat one."

The three Trenton ladies found themselves surrounded by men asking if they could sit with them at dinner, wanting to know their activity schedules, and just giving them male attention.

A tall muscular man with sandy blonde hair named Tyler brought Stephanie a Pina Colada. He was in Stephanie's Talk group and asked if she would like to go walk along the water.

Both Grandma and Lula gave each other a nod of approval watching Stephanie and Tyler on the beach.

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In the lobby later in the afternoon, Carina was trying to pacify two new arrivals.

"I'm sorry, Gentlemen, but we're almost completely booked. All we have is a standard room with two twin beds. Our luxury rooms and suites are all booked. The broom closets are available. You could try one of the other hotels."

"Fine," Ranger slid his black Rangeman credit card out of his wallet.

Tank looked at him, "I hope you don't snore and wear some pajamas."

She recognized the two men from the picture her friend Lula had showed her. "Here are you activity schedules. Just about all the groups are full, too. For some reason, the Ocean Wave is really busy this week," handing each a computer print-out of activities. "The welcoming cocktail party will be starting soon."

Ranger looked at his. It included Talk 101, Shuffleboard, Macramé, and Relationships: You Need Them."

Tank checked out his friend's, "Maybe you'll learn something because someone's looking out for you," Tank was pointing up, "before you screw up more than you have with Bombshell.

He looked at Tank's, eyebrow raised, "How come you got those? I'm not doing this. I came to get Stephanie."

"Lucky, I guess," the big man said as he hit 8 in the elevator. "You're paying for it, so I'm enjoying myself."

Tank's activities included Talk 101, Cooking for Couples, Pottery, and Archery.

"This is nice," Tank glanced quickly around the small corner room he and Ranger would be sharing; maybe it was actually the broom closet from its size. Opening the drapes, their only window looked directly across to the brick wall of the building next door with a billboard for 'Mel's Tattoo and Piercing Emporium' showcasing a large arm with a Cobra wrapped around the arm. The bathroom was small. He would need to stand outside the bathroom to take a leak. The room plain. A few third world countries looked better. At least the room had a nice scent of lime from the air freshener. The next few days were going to be quite long he thought to himself if he was stuck in this room with Mr. No-Relationship.

Before going down in search of Stephanie and Lula, Tank changed into board shorts and a pale yellow t-shirt with sandals. Ranger stuck to his basic black Rangeman dress code.

"Aren't you going to change, Man? We're at the beach. Get comfortable."

"I'm fine in this."

"You need help big time."

As they stepped out the wide glass doors to the open veranda and beach directly off it, a voice announced, "Welcome, Guests, to the Ocean Wave Singles Encounter. My name is Sylvia, the director here. Hopefully, each one of you will take the opportunity to meet new people, maybe even find the love of your life, and learn a little about yourself. If anyone has questions about the activities scheduled, please see one of the encounter coaches roaming about this evening. After cocktails, the seafood buffet will be open. The breakfast buffet starts at 7. Enjoy, everyone."

The first thing Ranger was doing was changing this stupid schedule. He would find out what Stephanie was signed up for and be there.

Tank saw the jaw set when his friend caught sight of Stephanie, dressed in a floral sundress, talking with a tall sun-bleached blonde man. He knew he was going to have a few good laughs.

Ranger walked over to the table. People automatically moved out of his way.

"Babe."

Stephanie turned around in her chair seeing the man in black, "Ranger, what are you doing here?"

He looked at Stephanie in her summer dress and the casually dressed man sitting with her. "Security check."

"Oh," Stephanie didn't want to sound too disappointed hoping he would say he came to be with her. "This is Tyler. He's in one of my groups. This is Carlos or Ranger as he's known, a friend of mine."

The men exchanged handshakes.

"Talk to you, Babe."

"Tyler and I are going to meet up with Lula and Grandma to get a table for dinner. How about after that if you're still here?" Stephanie nodded and stood up next to Tyler as he held her chair.

"Nice meeting you," the blonde said as he passed him.

Ranger was stunned. "My friend! " That was the first time Stephanie didn't come with him when he asked. She always came out with him into the alley by the bonds office knowing both would be in an immediate lip lock.

"Tank," Lula said standoffishly when she saw him walking to her chuckling and shaking his head.

"There's my Lula."

"Don't my Lula me," she answered back with hands on her round hips. "You broke our dates. Maybe you should head right back to Trenton where you came from with Batman. I'm having dinner with Walter," waving to a linebacker-looking African American man all dressed in white standing by the terrace doors, "Excuse me."

First Ranger got shot down then him. It was going to be a long few days. If he ever listened to Ranger's advice regarding women, he needed to see a shrink.

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After picking lock on the director's door, Ranger searched for Stephanie's schedule and room number in the computer. Next, adding his name to the roster of each of her groups. He also moved Tyler to his spot in his scheduled Talk 101 group away from his woman. He closed down the computer and went to change clothes for dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

**__**

Ocean's 3

Part 3

Dinner was an absolute disaster. Every time he attempted to approach Stephanie, some other man was vying for her attention. Then, there was a Get to Together dance after. There were a line of men wanting to dance with her. He paid one man 50 to go dance somewhere else so Ranger could get to dance with her. Witnessing the pay off, Stephanie refused to dance with him and stomped off right into Tyler's arms on the dance floor. The clincher was as he waited for Stephanie near her hotel room, the blonde man walked her to the door and kissed her good night, Stephanie returned the kiss.

Standing there not sure what to do, he stepped out of his corner spot and knocked on the 6th floor room. He would have picked the lock, but Ranger also knew Lula and Grandma Mazur were staying in the room.

Stephanie opened the door, "Yes, Ranger."

"Babe."

"Do you need something?" dryness apparent in her voice. "I want to soak in our tub before Grandma and Lula comes back."

"I wanted to see you," slipping into her room even though Stephanie did not outright invite him inside.

Seeing their suite, the room he and Tank had was a broom closet with two small beds compared to the king sized ones in this room.

Stephanie stood near the door appearing exasperated, "And? Why are you here?"

Sheepishly, Ranger looked at her with his dark pools, "Babe, you left town. No one knew you and Lula were going away. I wanted to make sure you were OK."

"You saw me," Stephanie motioned towards the door but Ranger didn't move.

"I wanted to dance with you, too."

"You paid off a man! Did you want me to feel cheap?"

"Babe, No."

"Did you ever think to ask me to dance? I would have danced all night with you if you would have just asked me."

Stephanie watched Ranger's face, his blank face that came into place fell away and he was stunned by her answer. It was so simple. "The Barbaric ways have gone by the wayside, Ranger. People actually communicate now with each other."

A light came on; he realized all he had to do was ask. He could do that. Everyone he came in contact with did as he beckoned but it wasn't the same thing as making a polite request. "What about your relationship with Tyler?"

"I just met him today. A relationship develops over time like WE HAVE, Ranger," Stephanie stressing the words as her hands waved between them.

"We're FRIENDS like you said."

"We are friends, Ranger. I can tell you anything like I do Mary Lou and you know just about everything about me and my crazy family. Being more takes both partners to make a commitment, not only when one wants it and it fits into a schedule."

He understood what Stephanie was not saying. He knew Stephanie's good and bad flaws in her character and almost all about her, but she knew very little about him or his life in and out of Trenton. And, he couldn't play around anymore. Carlos had to open up to Stephanie. His stomach clenched at the thought of Stephanie meeting his family, particularly his Momma, knowing the day that happened he was admitting his relationship was more than acquaintances or co-workers. If he didn't, then another man would.

Ranger nodded. Before opening the door to leave, "How did you get such a great room? Tank and I are sharing a room that qualifies as a telephone booth."

"Lula used to work with a manager here."

Ranger brushed Stephanie's lips with the softest kiss, "Good Night, Babe."

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Leaning back against the tub, Stephanie was enjoying the bubbles, the jets, and Aerosmith on her MP3 player. She felt a certain tingle in her spine and that meant the presence of one man in black, just not tonight. Ranger had on butt hugging jeans and a soft blue short sleeved Henley. Stephanie did categorize him still as yummy looking even though he pissed her off when he paid the 50 to dance with her. He could have at least offered 100.

She opened a blue eye and Ranger came into focus sitting on the vanity bench. A wolf grin on his face, "Wash your back, Babe?"

Opening her eye again, "Tempting. But, you may need to take a number."

Leaning over, Ranger whispered in her ear in a low, sexy voice, "Why? I'm the best."

Her new Victoria's Secrets panties would have been ruined right then and there if she had been wearing them. A slow, mischievous smile came over her face, "I'll have to try out a few guys to make sure you are the best."

His eyes narrowed at the comment. Reaching on the sink, he picked up Stephanie's new pink plaid boy shorts and lacy pink tank she was sleeping in tonight. His eyes went dark instantly. "Babe."

"I'm getting a little pruney, Ranger. Was there a reason you broke into our room?"

Standing up, Ranger held up the fluffy hotel towel for Stephanie to step out of the tub. As he was holding it, his eyes were dark as night and was caught peeking over the towel. "Babe."

"You can back for what reason, Ranger?"

He was trying to focus his thoughts, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'm sure we will bump into each other. It's a big hotel, but not massive." Stephanie wasn't giving an inch and trying to hold her hormones in check. She slipped her boy bottoms up with her towel in place, then turned around to slip on her lacy tank.

Turning back around, Ranger's eyes gazed over Stephanie from head to toe. She pushed past him opening the bathroom room, standing there in the bedroom were Grandma and Lula.

Her eyes got wide when Lula saw Ranger, "You!" shaking a finger. "If you want to keep that tight chicken ass of yours, I'd get out of here real quick, Batman. You want to go around and be 'Dear Ranger' or 'Ranger Landers' giving out sucky advice to my man when all you do is kiss and run from White Girl here. Think again," Lula hissed. "He broke two dates because of you! I'll give you a fair shot by counting to 3, then I'm going to squash you like a bug," Lula said voraciously while twisting the toe of her sandal into the mauve carpet. "You won't be giving out any more advice or moving those lips anytime soon."

Stephanie was standing between Ranger Lula. She could feel the tenseness in his body behind her. Her friend's brown eyes were locked on the man in black's.

"O-n-e," she started to count slowly clapping her hands, "twothree!"

Stephanie felt a quick kiss on her cheek, "Babe." Ranger rushed past her with a 'Whoosh' of air and out the door barely giving them a glimpse of his fine male asset.

"Scared, Batman!" Lula yelled down the hall before closing it.

Looking at Stephanie and Grandma, all three bust out laughing, eventually collapsing on the king size beds.


	4. Chapter 4

Ocean's 3

Part 4

Talk 101

"I'll be down in a few minutes," Grandma Mazur called from the bathroom.

"You sure," Stephanie asked, "you don't want us to wait?"

"No, I'm going to meet up with my Bavarian Hottie, Fredric, and then I'll introduce you."

"OK, Granny. I bet you get some before we leave," Lula yelled loud enough for everyone to hear on the 6th floor.

Walking into the dining room, Tank and Ranger were already there and had a table.

"Babe, will you and Lula eat with us?"

Tank was nodding his head and giving his Sweetie a big smile, "Please, Lula."

The girls looked at each other and then at the apprehensive men, both saying together, "OK."

Ranger didn't say a word at Stephanie's plate of syrup with French toast. She started to choke when Grandma and a white haired man in Lederhosen walked into the room. There was a clatter of silverware dropping all around the dining room.

"Oh my God," Stephanie coughed as Ranger was patting her back. He couldn't believe his eyes and he had practically witnessed everything around the world, but this! No words were known to describe the sight of Edna Mazur.

Grandma looked like a Bavarian Oktober Fest girl with a black hat and white feather, blouse, black dirndl, and frilly apron. She had wooden shoes on her feet.

Stephanie put her fork down after losing her appetite groaning, "I'll never be invited to my parent's house again for dinner if my mother sees her."

"Baby Granddaughter, this is my German man, Fredric. Isn't he something?"

Not wanting to be rude, Stephanie shook his hand as she stood up. He was wearing leather shorts with suspenders and a matching black hat.

"Very nice to meet you."

"Danke. Edna is mein little viener schnitzel," responding in his broken German as he tickled her chin.

Grandma introduced the rest of the table, "That's Tank, Lula, and Ranger, Stephanie's friends."

They all nodded and tried to focus on their breakfasts.

"Guten tag," Fredric bowed and showed Grandma towards the buffet.

Lula bit a piece of sausage, "I wonder what his schnitzel is like? Your granny maybe a happy a frau lady."

Stephanie just gave a 'Burg' eye roll.

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First up was Talk 101. As each person entered the large conference room, they had to pick a card from decks on a table. There were big number and face cards hanging on the walls with circles of chairs underneath.

"Good Morning, Singles. Welcome to Talk 101. A relationship between two people needs communication. Hopefully, you will meet new people during this session and open up a little about yourself. The card you selected will indicate the group you are in this morning, so find your groups. Enjoy yourselves and talk."

Stephanie had a 2. Lula a 7. Both Ranger and Tank had Jacks.

"This should be good," Tank said as he and Ranger made there way over to their circle. Bavarian Grandma was in their group. Watching where Stephanie was across the room, she was sitting there with another young woman with at least eight men. At least one wasn't Tyler, he fixed that.

"Hello," a middle aged man in a sweater vest and bow tie sat down, "I'm Ron, the group leader. Let's go around the group and introduce ourselves."

There were nine in the group along with the leader. A middle aged woman was to Ron's left.

"I'm Margie." Her eyes were on Ranger immediately.

There was Carol, Tim, Steve, Ruben, Sarah.

"I'm Edna," Grandma said next to Tank.

"Thomas." Tank elbowed Ranger.

"Carlos," he mumbled.

"That was a good start. If you don't express yourself, no one will ever discover the inner you. Let's go around the group and say something about yourself. I'll start. I have always wanted to bungee jump. Carlos, you start us out around this way."

Ranger sat there and didn't say anything.

"He doesn't talk," Tank told the group.

Ranger looked at his friend, "I do, too."

"No, you don't."

"Do too!"

Ron spoke up, "By any chance are you two together, because you sound like an old married couple."

"Him," Tank pointed to Ranger. "He's afraid to commit. He has the greatest woman, but won't open up to her."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't"

"I will!" Ranger was losing his cool and lunged at Tank. He and his chair went back landing on the floor. Ranger and Tank were rolling around on the floor wrestling each other.

"Let's let Ozzie and Harriet work out their conflict and continue around the group," Ron instructed.

Stephanie and Lula came running over as the guys were still fighting on the floor. Tank's nose was bleeding. One of Ranger's eyes was swelling.

"Should we break them up?" Stephanie asked.

"I take it you know them?" Ron asked. "There are conflicts and arguments in every relationship, let them work it out," Ron nodded towards the rolling men.

"OK," both Stephanie and Lula said as they shrugged their shoulders and went back to their own groups.

"You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's going to start cryin'**,"** Lula called over her shoulder. Tank and Ranger never heard and just kept at it.

Once Talk 101's hour was up, Stephanie and Lula got ice for Ranger's eye and Tank's nose.

"I think that went really well," Tank said to Ranger.

Ranger nodded, "I agree. Let's go to cooking class, Buddy," extending a hand to Tank.

Stephanie, Lula, and Grandma watched them walked out of the large hall.

"I pronounce them a couple," Grandma said as she curtseyed in her German dress.


	5. Chapter 5

Ocean's 3

Part 5

Tank, his nose swelled from their entanglement, looked at Ranger with his partially closed eye. "Since when are you in 'Cooking for Couples'?"

Ranger replied back seeing Tank with his good eye and one half closed, "Since I got my scheduled changed."

"More like you changed it."

"Sssssh, do you want someone to find out?"

"Like Stephanie. You're pitiful."

"No, I'm Carlos."

"Now, you're a comedian! You need help, Man."

They entered a large cooking studio with various stations set up around the room making a bee line for Stephanie and Lula reading something.

"Are you two going to beat each other up again?" Stephanie in her 'Burg' girl stance, hands on hips and feet planted on the floor.

The injured men looked at each other, "No," shaking their heads.

"Let's not let them near anything sharp, White Girl, cause there may be blood shed. That's icky and gives me the creepy crawlies," Lula shivered closing her eyes.

"Lula Sweetie, I'm here to protect you," Tank said as he puffed out his chest.

"Yeah! Right! Just like you and Batman can only talk in horizontal positions beating the snot out of each other."

"Ron said," Ranger pointing at the girls, "arguments are part of a relationship."

Stephanie gave him an eye roll as a woman was in the middle of the floor calling for everyone's attention.

"Welcome to 'Cooking for Couples'. This morning for the next two hours, you will be cooking you own lunch, but this will be for couples. People interact with others whether it's two people or a group. You will be in groups of four. Two couples making a lunch time meal to share amongst yourselves. Each station is equipped with all the necessary ingredients and utensils. There is a simple recipe for a Western frittata and a cherry cobbler dessert. Also, the fixings for a nice garden salad to accompany lunch. I'm Rosemary and here to offer any assistance.

"That's good. You'll have salad, Ranger."

"I eat more than salads."

"How about Ranger and I bake the frittata for you two Sweeties," Tank was smiling at Lula with his ever growing nose.

"Babe, let us cook for you."

Stephanie stared at the bruised men. Taking their sincerity into consideration, both she and Lula agreed. "No more fighting."

"Never," Ranger and Tank said together.

Stephanie and Lula read over the simple recipe for the cherry cobbler.

"We can do this, White Girl. An ex-Ho is a natural in the kitchen," Lula took a mixing bowl out of a cupboard. "Measure out two cups of this baking mix," handing Stephanie a box and measuring cup.

Ranger and Tank were busy organizing the ingredients for the frittata.

Tank began chopping an onion. Ranger was cutting the peppers.

"Ranger, those are too big. You need to dice. Those are more like pieces. Make them smaller," Tank instructed holding up a green pepper strip.

He cut the strips into tiny pieces, "Better, Betty Crocker?" throwing a couple of pieces at Tank.

His friend in returned whipped an onion skin at Ranger hitting him in the shoulder.

One threw a cube of ham, then cheese was flying. Ranger put an egg down Tank's shirt and smacked it with his open hand.

Rubbing a handful of minced garlic in Ranger's hair, "You stink."

"Lula, I don't think they'll survive the day," Stephanie whispered watching the men throw food at each other.

"Good," Lula nodded, "they'll be history and we can find us two more hunks who know how to behave."

Tank slipped on a broken egg crashing into Ranger. They went down and started rolling in the food on the floor wrestling each other again.

"You can't cut a pepper right."

"Who died and made you Martha Stewart."

Rosemary was standing over the rolling men, "There is a day care center down the street for babies and small children. I can drop both of you off after you clean up this mess!"

Stopping in mid-rumble, Tank and Ranger stood up immediately, "Yes, Ma'am." After the food was cleaned up, Tank had enough eggs to scramble for lunch with chunks of ham, cheese, onions, and peppers tossed in.

"This is good salad, Girls," Tank took a bite. "This vinaigrette dressing is perfect."

"My Momma always used balsamic vinegar," Ranger explained.

Stephanie filed that little tidbit away since Ranger hardly mentioned his family. She knew Julie from the Scrogg incident, but not much more.

Lula dished out warm cherry cobbler topped with vanilla ice cream. Tank licked the serving spoon clean, "This is yummy. My Sweetie is the best."

"I know," Lula said with attitude, "if you are even thinkin' of getting' any of this fineness, you better clean up real good."

The Rangemen looked at their clothes, smeared with food and stained. Ranger had drying minced garlic stuck in his silky black hair.

"You are a little smelly," Stephanie was covering her nose.

"Babe."

The guys got up and started clearing the dishes, "Sit. We'll clean up," Ranger told the girls. He kissed Stephanie as he picked up her plate and cup loading them into a restaurant sized dishwasher in the corner.

"Hey, Baby Granddaughter, another fight?" seeing the condition of Tank and Ranger.

"Food." Stephanie noticed Grandma was wearing a fluffy white robe. "Grandma, where's your German Girl outfit?"

"In 'Erogenous Zones' class, I got kicked out. Freddie's fingers were feeling really good. Those Bavarians numbs have minds like missiles seeking the hot spots and they found mine when we were practicing massage techniques," Grandma said wiggling her eye brows and bony fingers. "I'm meeting him in the hot tub."

"That's OK, Grandma, I get the picture."

Lula made a 'tisk' sound, "You really did get the good classes. We got them. What are we going to do with them?"

The Trenton females were watching Tank try and get the smashed garlic out of Ranger's hair. It looked like a monkey picking bugs off another.

"You could try the old Hungarian torture. I used in on Grandpa when he got out of line."

"What torture?" Stephanie asked.

"**_A block of wood, a bucket of ice, and a hatchet_."**

Lula's interest was piqued, "What do you do with those, Granny?"

"Anything you want especially when the guy is tied down. My husband was being a real grump. He fell asleep in his favorite chair. I tied him to it. He hated the sound of cracking walnut shells for some reason. I put the block of wood in his lap and cracked nuts in his lap with the hatchet. He got out of his mood real quick. If that didn't work, I could throw the ice water on him and rap him up side the head with the bucket."

"That's crazy."

"That, too, White Girl," Lula was shaking her head. "But if that hatchet slipped, he was losin' something. Ouch."

"I never lost it. My daddy taught me an old gypsy skill, throwing flaming hatchets. I always hit the target."

"Wow. Now I know where you got your bounty hunting skills," Lula said as she was impressed, "and passed them down to Stephanie here."

"Damn Skippy," making a motion with her arm as if she was throwing a hatchet.

"Babe, we're going to get cleaned up and meet up with you," Ranger laid a dish towel down from wiping off the counter.

Tank told Ranger, "You can go first in the shower."

"No, you."

They were walking out still deciding on whom bathing first.

"Damn, they do make a cute couple," Grandma declared, her fingers were pinching the air as girls watched those fine asses walk out.


	6. Chapter 6

**__**

Ocean's 3

Part 6

Week 34 Challenge

Tank and Ranger finished showering in the cubby hole of a bathroom they had in the broom closet of a room at this single's thing. Talk about multi-tasking, if Ranger was in the shower, he could hit the toilet if he needed to take a leak, and brush his teeth at the same time. Not that he did, that would be unsanitary his Momma would say. Tank being bigger would have more of a problem, he could get wedged in there and the hotel would be ripping out fixtures to get him out.

He groaned in the small, stuffy bathroom. Enough with this single's SHIT! The fat lady has sung and Ranger was the light. This single stuff was over. Stephanie was his! They were leaving!

Looking as himself in the mirror while standing in the shower, he has a black eye, cuts and scrapes, and those are just from the talking and cooking classes. He didn't get this battered on most missions.

He and Tank came out to the patio it was a sea of single people. The classes were over until tomorrow, so everyone was on the beach having a good time.

Saying to Ranger watching the activity, "I have a feeling it can only go downhill from here."

They saw Lula relaxing in a chaise lounge, a muscular man in a Speedo was bringing her an umbrella drink. Another was fanning her.

Just as Grandma and her Lederhosen fella went by in the water riding one of those banana boats, she lost her yellow bikini top.

Stephanie had just finished up playing volleyball on the beach with 5 golden tanned Hunks in very small swimsuits. One had given her water. She was wearing a next to nothing leopard print bikini. Tank saw his friend gulp one, then twice.

His now darkened eyes never leaving his woman. He squared is shoulders, let out a breath, "Not necessarily. Gentlemen, today we go to war," determination registering on his face even with sunglasses. He marched across the hot sand heading straight where Stephanie was standing with the man, Phil, the one he paid off to dance with her.

She and her partner Phil were getting ready for the couples sack race. This was his limit. His woman was not getting in a big potato sack with another man. He had enough of this single's stuff. As far as he was concerned, both he and Stephanie were in a committed relationship. With the last few deliberate steps in the sand, he stalked over to Stephanie.

"Mine!"

With his strong arms, he tossed Phil out of the burlap bag. He landed in a sand castle. Next, sack and all, Stephanie was over his shoulder.

"Hey, I wanted to try the sack race!"

"I have a sack for you! Mine!"

"Where are you taking me, Ranger?"

"Someday," he whispered to her loud enough for her to hear over his shoulder. "But, first, you're meeting my Momma."

Grandma, Lula, and Tank were waving at Stephanie as Ranger carried her down the beach to his waiting Porsche.

"Think Batman will be upset when he finds out everything was charged to Rangeman."

"Lula Baby, he's going to be too busy to care. I think we can put this under 'Training & Education'. All tax deductible."

"Think you can add in a few other expenses like paying for my wedding to the Lederhosen guy, Fred, and a honeymoon in Frankenmuth? He owns a windmill we're going to live in." Grandma said.

Doing a high five with her, "Granny, I think I can work with that. Step into my office. I'm a wedding planner now. I got this matching making down pat," giving Tank a big bear hug. Pointing down the beach to Ranger and Stephanie kissing, "There goes a success story."

"That you do, Lula Sweetie. Ranger just doesn't what hit him yet."

**__**

The End


End file.
